Loyal and demented fans of AdScam who simply can't get enough of these pearls of wisdom, will be thrilled to hear that this weeks AdAge has an article by me explaining how severely fucked up the ad/marketing conference business is. There's even a poll where you can vote to "Agree with George Parker that conferences have become irrelevant." You should vote, but if you don't agree with me, you can fuck off. My mates at AdAge have seen fit to title the piece... "Ad-Blogging Crank Rants About 'Must-Attend' marketing Confabs!" Cheeky fuckers. By the way, in the picture, I'm not flogging "MadScams," I am merely offering a couple as prizes for the best question.
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How could anyone resist?
It boils down to one thing, people who can barely make a living in their discipline, figure they can convince others to shell out money for their "expertise". During the gold rush the smart ones realized you make more selling equipment to prospectors than prospecting. Or the financial genius who has made millions with his "system" and is happy to sell you his method. Now if I had a system that was that successful, rest assured I would tell no one (well maybe that hot dancer from Scores - and purely for altruistic reasons).
I always thought you were constructively surly, but cranky? Never.
Posted by: Studio Maven | May 05, 2008 at 09:40 AM
George so far all voters are in 100% agreement with you (me too). Maybe a lot of folks returning from their agency boondoggle this past weekend needed Monday off to recover?
Posted by: JBK | May 05, 2008 at 09:56 AM
Conferences exist for the same reason there are $100K weddings and barmitzvahs. They are always arranged by events planners and hotels as a way to generate money. The few I've attended were basically drinking junkets with a few seminars thrown in, taught by outside industry "experts" who haven't got a clue as to what your industry is really about. I'm still waiting to hear what was going on in the women's loo.
Posted by: Auntie Christ | May 05, 2008 at 10:05 AM
As the voting thingy on AdAge's site seems to have fallen off the page, at least on the page I've been looking at, I shall vote here. Agree thouroughly with the aforementioned thingy, vote. Ad conferences are a total waste of money .. . apart from the one I am about to launch. It's called Shameless Commerce 2009: Make Millions from MBAs, it will be hosted in Las Vegas, and there will be pole dancers and free beer and all the nookie .. I mean, information, you could possibly yearn for. And all for just $5,999 per head, plus flight, hotel, rental car (many events will take place in the desert, so you'll need a mota), and these additions can be had for another $4,995 from Pop's Media Travel, LLC. Cheers!
Posted by: popgoestheweasel | May 05, 2008 at 12:43 PM
For some reason in that shot you conjure my mental image of Eddie Van Halen's crazy uncle, assuming he has one.
Posted by: captain flummox | May 05, 2008 at 03:58 PM
Captn...
I am actually Eddie Van Halen's son!
Cheers/George
Posted by: George Parker | May 05, 2008 at 08:38 PM
Interesting how telling the truth is seen as a 'crank' in the US. I'm reminded of a post on a political blog here in China that talks about how great Hillary is because she has learned how to lie and how Obama isn't to be trusted because he's too naive. Its because I like the U.S. that I make these comments. I guess it takes an outsider to speak like this.
Posted by: Charles Frith | May 05, 2008 at 09:05 PM
A year or so ago I was sitting on the tube, with MadScam open on my lap. A pair of hotties sitting opposite me kept looking at the book and giggling. I thought I caught eye of the redhead. Shyly she looked away. Aha! thinks I, George's cunningly designed book is a fanny magnet.
Upon arriving at the office I realised my fly was open. Bollocks.
Posted by: FishNChimps | May 07, 2008 at 08:18 AM
Chimp...
It is a chick magnet. Remember Dr Dichter said many years ago that women were sexually aroused by the color red! That's why I always wear red underpants and have a permanently red nose!
Cheers/George
Posted by: George Parker | May 07, 2008 at 08:15 PM
Charles...
And she still won't lie down and give the fuck up! Don't you love the fact that she's lending her campaign money... If she truly believes she can win it... Why the fuck can't she GIVE her campaign money. Bill can earn it all back in a week with a speaking tour of fucking China!
Cheers/George
Posted by: George Parker | May 07, 2008 at 08:19 PM