"Listen to the creatures of the night!"
Hey, how weird is this? Yesterday an American historian jailed in Romania for pedophile offences was released from jail more than two years early because he wrote a book about Dracula. According to the law, Kurt Treptow was entitled to early release because his writing counted as work in prison. Well, beats the shit out of sowing mailbags. The book is about Vlad III Dracul, the Romanian prince who inspired the Dracula legend, and who recently appeared in a movie disguised as Gary Oldman, licking cutthroat razors and being out-acted in another Oscar worthy performance by Keanu Reeves. Apparently Treptow had served nearly five years of his seven-year sentence for "sexual relations with minors". Dirty old bugger. He earlier wrote a book on the Romanian dictator, Ion Antonescu, who had been an ally of the Nazis during World War II. You know that had to blow the fucking roof off the best seller charts in Transylvania. I wonder how MadScam’s doing out there. After all, it is about the biggest fucking blood sucking business in the world!
.
.
Mmmm... Fresh MBA!
in case you go on a book-signing tour in europe and meet vampires... here are some treatment i found on the internet:
SPECIES - COUNTRY - APPROVED METHOD OF DISPOSAL
Sampiro - Albania - Stake through heart
Nachtzehrer - Bavaria - Place coin in mouth, decapitate with ax
Ogoljen - Bohemia - Bury at crossroads
Krvoijac - Bulgaria - Chain to grave with wild roses
Kathakano - Crete - Boil head in vinegar
Brukalaco - Greece - Cut off and burn head
Vampir - Hungary - Stake through heart, nail through temples
Dearg-dul - Ireland - Pile stones on grave
Vryolakas - Macedonia - Pour boiling oil on, drive nail through navel
Upier - Poland - Bury face downwards
Gierach - Prussia - Put poppy seeds in grave
Strigoiul - Rumania - Remove heart, cut in two; garlic in mouth, nail in head
Vlkoslak - Serbia - Cut off toes, drive nail through neck
Neuntoter - Saxony - Lemon in mouth
Vampiro - Spain - No known remedy
(obviously, avoid Spain)
Good luck, JC
Posted by: JC | March 02, 2007 at 03:23 PM
JC
Really useful shit... But I'm leaving tomorrow for Spain, so I'm fucked. Even though I've been chewing garlic cloves for the past week and no one will come within ten feet of me!
Hey, I've been meaning to link to your site, 'cos I think it's great. I'll do it this weekend after I've rinsed my mouth out with gin.
Cheers/George
Posted by: George Parker | March 03, 2007 at 07:35 AM