Oh God… Not the Olympics… Again. It’s bad enough sitting through the same TV and print ads as the summer Olympics come around every four years, being bombarded by fucking awful advertising with pathetic themes like “Acme Bum Wipes are going for the Gold.” Cliché visuals of a black hand passing a baton to a white hand accompanied by a headline talking about “Teamwork.” Or that hoary old chestnut of people in business attire and sneakers, clutching briefcases, jumping over desks while the immortal headline states… “You say jump… We say, How High?” Well, stand by for the fucking, frigid, icy version. The Home Depot on Feb. 10 will launch a campaign for the 2006 Olympic Winter Games. Told through the voice of a child, (Why not the voice of a chipmunk, I ask? ‘Cos that wouldn’t put a lump in your throat and cash in Home Depot’s pocket – You Dufus!) The ads will feature world-class Olympic athletes as real-life superheroes who possess superhuman talent and can accomplish tasks the average person cannot. The spot ends with, "A superhero has a secret identity. Oh please… Give me a superfucking break. What superagency comes up with this dross?
Winner of the gold medal in the 100 meter Zamboni dash, Fred Smith also delivers pizza's for Home Depot!