A well intentioned rant about the current state of Advertising, with particular emphasis on Big Dumb Agencies (BDA's) Because, no matter how bad you think it is, it's actually a great deal worse!
"Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill pail." George Orwell.
Loyal AdScamers will know that if there’s one thing I love to take the piss out of, it’s the phrase… “Agency of the Future.” Everyone from Enfatico to Draft/FCB has claimed they are inventing the agency of the future by knocking down the walls and blowing up the silo’s. All have ended up as "Agencies of the Past." Now AdAge has an incredibly long and stultifyingly boring piece… “The ad agency of the future is coming. Are you ready?” Not me mate. For some reason the writer compares the current state of the ad biz to “Game of Thrones.” Personally, I’d go for “Dumb and Dumber.” If anyone has the fortitude to read the whole piece, let me know what it says.
Have you seen the video of Carly Fiorina falling off the stage as she introduces the Canadian candidate for the Republican nomination at an event in Indiana? Fucking brilliant. Mrs. Cruz helps her up. Ted ignores her. She was obviously drunk and trying to do a Palin. Better stick to her singing career. Isn’t American politics great?
No surprise to read that more than one-third of Bay Area residents say they are ready to leave in the next few years, citing high housing costs and traffic as the region's biggest problems, according to a poll released Monday. Fuck, I can remember when the worse thing about San Francisco was that if you only gave change to the panhandlers instead of folding money, they would set their Rottweiler’s on you. But that was before all the Silicon Valley poseurs fucked everything up. Uber me outta here!
Following on from yesterday’s post about MDC, the little “wannabe” holding company. Even though Miles Nadal was booted from the driver’s seat and had to pay back $20 million of his ill gotten gains. He recently shelled out $300,000 for the PopeMobile that His Holiness used to drive around New York on his recent visit to the US. Yeah, it may only be a crappy little Fiat 500, but that $300K Indulgence might just get you through the pearly gates ahead of the queue.
I know this is hard to take, but your heart just bleeds at the news that Marissa “I wear purple knickers” Mayer will be taking a severe 15% drop in her remuneration for last year. Instead of making $42 million, she will be taking a pathetic $36 million. Just because Yahoo experienced a 22% drop in its market value, there is no excuse for this cruel and unjustified punishment to a CEO who will go down in history as making Carly “I fucked HP” Fiorina look like a saint!
A couple of AdScamers had already directed me towards the Gotham City analyst’s report on MDC Partners pointing out that basically the stock was a piece of shit and destined to become even shittier. It’s a long list of massive fuck ups, including this tasty morsel… “Dubious related party transactions continue, despite Miles Nadal’s departure, e.g. Lori Senecal’s husband hired last year & compensated $1 million for 5 months’ work.” Oh yes indeed, these fuckers are incorrigible, you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours. Amongst the BDA’s still part of this SDHC (Small Dumb Holding Company) are Doner, 72andSunny and CPB. You guys are fucked.
Just to prove that there might be some justice after all, the “Wizened of Oz’s” rancid rag… The Sun, is very probably going to get sued shitless by some of the people (including a murder victim) whose phones were hacked a few years ago. Seems like some of the staff members from the News of the World, shuffled over to The Sun to escape responsibility. The editor of the News of the World at the time was Rebekah “Medusa” Brooks, who disappeared for a couple of years before coming back as the chief executive of News UK, the publisher of all the Dirty Diggers foul publications. So far, News UK has shelled out 500 million quid in damages… With a bit of luck, that going to look like chump change by the time this shitstorm is over!
Jerry... Jerry... Where the fuck are you when i need you?
If you’ve got nothing else to do on a Sunday, go on “craigslist” and make a bid for Yahoo. Love the best bit… ”Bottomless archive of Kim Kardashian photos.” The one thing you would have to say about that particular trove is that it certainly wouldn’t be bottomless!
It’s official… Marissa “I wear purple knickers” Mayer will walk away with a $55-million severance package if the company's auction of its Internet operations culminates in a sale that ousts her from her job. The payout disclosed in a regulatory filing Friday consists of cash, stock awards and other benefits that Mayer would get should she be forced out as chief executive within a year after a sale. She’s been “Turning Around” Yahoo for four years, trousering (Or, purple knickering) $36 million for last year alone. Where the fuck do you get jobs like these?